


Officer Grayson's Colleagues Meet the Batboys

by BlackCanary0001



Series: Batman one shots [14]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Amy Rohrbach is confused, BPD, Batbrothers fight, Batbrothers getting arrested, Bludhaven Police Department, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I actually really love this, Nicknames, Oh My Batman, One of My Favorites, People watching Batbrothers Fight, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, Tim Jason and Damian tried to break into Dick´s house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCanary0001/pseuds/BlackCanary0001
Summary: First scenario: The BPD meeting the chaotic Wayne siblings who kinda blow up the police station.Second scenario: The BPD meeting Gotham's chaotic vigilantes who have really strange conversations while fighting.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Amy Rohrbach, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Batman one shots [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905481
Comments: 13
Kudos: 425





	Officer Grayson's Colleagues Meet the Batboys

**Author's Note:**

> I really love this one, it is one of my favorite one shots so far. Enjoy!

**Batfam**  
**Humour**  
**____________**

Amy Rohrbach was seated at the desk next to her partner, Dick Grayson. It had been a hard day. The boss had told them to finally nail a crime boss who'd been trafficking children, but the BPD couldn't find enough evidence that would convince a jury to put him behind bars.

To everyone's surprise, a few of Gotham's bats had decided to pay 'Haven a visit last night and now the BPD was under even more pressure to catch that guy before the vigilantes did.

And so, no one noticed the three guys in the holding cell starting a fight until it was too late. Amy had arrested them when she had caught them trying to break into an apartment, but they were all still minors (at least two of them) and had refused to show any ID, so they could only keep them locked up for 48 hours before releasing them again.

A loud crash was heard and then yelling in a language Amy didn't understand. The three had been fighting since she brought them here and it had taken five officers to separate them.   
"What's going on there?" asked Dick, glancing curiously at his partner. He had been late to work (again) and so he didn't know about her arresting the teenagers. She once again wondered why Dick was always late. She'd asked him once and he'd just shrugged and answered, "Night job", whatever that was supposed to mean.

Groaning, she rubbed her temples, heaving a sigh. "I picked up three boys trying to break into an apartment last night and they have been at each other's throats ever since."  
"Jeez. Which apartment?"  
She took out a paper where she'd written down their appearances and address she'd found them and read, "1013 Parkthorne Avenue."

Dick frowned and stood up, walking past Amy with quick steps and she looked at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow. "That's my apartment," he answered her unspoken question and Amy's eyes widened slightly. That couldn't be a coincidence.

And then one of the robbers yelled, sounding like he was being strangled, "Get off of me, Demon Brat, or I'm gonna put a bullet in your brain!"   
Amy cocked her eyebrows as the rookie paled and face-palmed, his eyes glistening with... exasperation? "You gotta be kidding me," he gritted between clenched teeth.  
"Wha-" she hurried after him as he strode towards the holding cells, hands in fists.

Once the Jon Does saw him, the oldest one seemed to forget about what he was doing- was he trying to choke the youngest?- and a grin spread across his face. "Hey, Dickhead. Why don't you get us outta here?"   
Amy scowled at him, eyes narrowed to slits. "Don't insult the officers."  
The guy, he had a white streak in his hair, grinned mockingly. "Oh, c'mon, how many dick jokes did he have to hear throughout the years? He's used to it."  
Amy narrowed her eyes at her partner. "You know him?"  
"No."  
"Yes," said the youngest with glee. "He does. And I do not want to be imprisoned with those imbeciles any longer, so get me out," he demanded and Amy cocked her eyebrows at the kid's tone.

Dick groaned and turned to leave, when the one who's been silent until now spoke up, "Please, Dick. Those two idiots lower the IQ of the whole room so much my head hurts."  
"Oh, c'mon, Replacement, shut your mouth or I'm gonna sew it shut."  
The youngest snort. "You should know how that's done right."

Before anyone could comprehend what's going on, the oldest had the 'Demon Brat' pinned to the ground, hands around his throat. 'Replacement' rolled his eyes and Dick quickly unlocked the cell door, pulling the two apart. "Jason!" he yelled, pushing the oldest boy against the wall. "That's enough!"

Amy raised her eyebrows. So they did know each other. She still wondered why they even tried to break into Dick's apartment together, they didn't seem like a very good team. And why break in by somebody they knew?

"And you," her partner continued, icy glare fixed at the younger boy, "You'll _not_ make jokes like that, you hear me, Damian?" The boy crossed his arms and averted his eyes. "Damian?" Dick pressed sharply and Amy smirked as the kid sighed defeated. "Yeah, yeah, no more killing jokes."

At that, Amy's eyebrows furrowed, but Dick didn't seem to notice. What the hell were 'killing jokes' supposed to be? "And Tim," he growled, eyes on the last boy. "You'll not just roll your eyes when your brothers try to kill each other, got it?"  
Amy snort loudly. Brothers?! That's something she wasn't expecting.

"We're not brothers!" they all yelled in unison and Dick groaned, while Amy's confusion grew. She guessed this was something that happened often, considering Dick's reaction.   
"Whatever," he mumbled and let go of Jason. "But you three are gonna get in trouble with Alfie, you hear me." Then he frowned. "And why the hell did you try to break into my apartment?"

They all looked at each other sheepishly, not meeting Dick's eyes. "Eh, we kinda snuck out last night and didn't have anywhere else to crash."  
"Why didn't you just go home? Or _knock_?"   
At that, Tim bit his lip and Amy suppressed a smirk. "B. kinda forbid us to go out and we didn't want to wake you up, so..."  
Dick groaned and this time, Amy couldn't help but laugh.

"Who are you?" She asked, shaking her head with a small, confused smirk.   
Jason glanced at Dick and shrugged, a lazy grin on his face. "We're his super awesome-"  
"Pain in the ass brothers," finished Dick and Amy looked at all four wide-eyed. "You never told me you had brothers!"   
Damian, who stood closest to her let a bone chilling smile slip on his lips, holding up three fingers.   
"Three, two, one."

And then an explosion rattled the building and smoke erupted from somewhere around her and when Amy could see clear again, the three were gone.   
"Wha-"  
"That's why I never talk about them," sighed Dick and turned back to his desk, ignoring the shocked looks of his colleagues.   
___

The next time BPD officers saw the brothers, they didn't even realize who they were looking at, all they saw were four vigilantes, fighting some bad guys (and seemingly each other, too?).

Back to the beginning... The police force had put up barricades around Penguin's base and were hiding behind the police car's doors, guns trained at the villain's goons. And then four guys in spandex swept in and started beating up the baddies. Amy had told her colleagues to engage, but something much more intersting had caught everyone's attention.   
The vigilantes were having a conversation while fighting. A really... strange conversation.

"Why are you even here?" asked Nightwing, ducking under a swing of a baseball bat and kicking some guy in his crown jewels.  
Amy frowned and Officer Barton, a middle aged man with a mob of brown hair, bumped her shoulder. "Good question. What are Gothamites doing in 'Haven?"  
She shrugged and shushed him.  
"Concentrate on taking out Penguin. We can worry about them later."  
He pursed his lips and turned back to observe the vigilantes.

Red Robin was fighting some guy and his staff made a metallic sound when it hit the gun of his opponent, making him drop it and howl in pain at his broken hand.  
"We were bored!" he answered Nightwing's question and Barton cocked his eyebrows. "How do you get bored fighting crime in Gotham?" Amy shrugged helplessly.  
Nightwing seemed to believe him as much as they did.

"Right," he said, probably rolling his eyes behind his mask. He caught the fist of a goon that was about to smash his face in, and send him flying over his shoulder, right into Red Hood's waiting arms. The man was out cold in a second. "Maybe we just wanted to mess up your case," the anti-hero laughed and Nightwing send him a glare, throwing his escrima stick like a boomerang, knocking down two guys and barely missing Red Hood's head. "What the hell, man?!"   
"Don't mess up my case!"  
"I was joking!"  
After a growl from Nightwing, he shrugged and jerked his elbow backwards to break some thug's nose. "Okay, maybe I wasn't."

Amy and Barton shared a look. They all wondered what exactly the relationship between the heroes entailed and how Red Hood fit into all of that.   
Robin, who had been fighting his own fair share of guys decided to join the bickering boys and Amy raised her eyebrows at how young his voice sounded. "Stop acting like useless imbeciles and do what Batman thaught you to do."  
Hood growled at him and Nightwing rolled his shoulders, backflipping over a thug and kicking him in the back, sending him sprawling. "Last time we saw each other, Hood tried to kill me!"

Amy heard Barton's sharp intake of breath and her own breath caught in her throat. How can they be so casual about that?  
"I didn't!" protested the vigilante and shot a guy in the leg. "It was an accident!"  
"How can you accidentally shoot someone in the shoulder?!"  
"Your face was annoying!"  
"So?!"  
"It distracted me!"

The Officers had a hard time not laughing and Red Robin snort loudly enough for them all to hear. "Are you that rusty?"  
"What?" growled the anti-hero, facing the winged boy. "People like us don't get distracted, unless we're rusty. So either you're rusty, or you shot him willingly."

There was a tense moment of silence- even the goons seemed to wait in anticipation for the answer- and then Red Hood threw his hands in the air, sighing loudly. "Fiiiiine, I did it on purpose. But he dyed all my stuff pink! Even my hair!"   
This time, everybody burst out laughing and Nightwing looked at him flabbergasted. "No, I didn't."   
"What?"   
"I didn't. That was Spoiler. She had this bet with Red Robin, if she'd dare to humiliate you..." His voice got quieter as both heroes, blue and red, turned to Red Robin.

Nightwing, the lenses of his mask narrowing, growled, "Did you blame that on me?" While Red Hood asked, "You did what?"   
The younger hero took a step back, hands up in surrender. "It was Spoiler's idea!"

Amy looked at Barton with wide eyes, not sure what to do. Did the _heroes_ of _Gotham_ seriously _prank Red Hood_?!  
"You're both dead," growled Hood and then Red Robin was running, two heroes chasing after him.   
Amy laughed disbelieving. "Oh my God."  
"Oh my Batman," corrected Barton.


End file.
